The Deaths of John and Stalvern
by jamc91
Summary: While out adventuring, a group of young heroes happens upon a large mob. They try to pull, but disaster always strikes when you least expect it.


'Lure,' Stalvern ordered.

John nodded. 'Get behind me,' he said to his group. They retreated a short distance away. He raised his longbow and took aim.

His arrow struck true. John quickly tried to escape, but it was not to be. The mob descended upon him, the first foe they encountered, completely ignoring his much squishier teammates just a small way away. John cursed and threw his bow at the attackers, trying to buy time as he fumbled for his Icy Dragon Sword.

'HYAHHHHH!' he cried, pulling it out and gripping it with both hands. He ducked under a large fist, crouching low, and swept the sword in a large arc that sliced clean through the closest enemies.

Given that small space to breathe, if only for a moment, John selected a foe at random and went for it. Unfortunately, he was too dramatic in his movements, and the sword was knocked out of his hands by, as luck would have it, one of his teammates.

'Sorry, John!' she yelled just before she fell to an arrow in the back.

Now he was defenceless against the onslaught. He rather wished he'd kept his bow instead of throwing it. But by Balthazar, he would go down fighting!

'Charge!' he screamed, sprinting towards the nearest enemy, wildly swinging his fists. He landed a lucky punch in its stomach and it spluttered, flailing and falling backwards. John took the chance to leap on top of it and pound its face in. It struggled helplessly, but just as he was _thisclose_ to finishing it, someone yanked him away by his collar and John choked.

The someone appeared to be a unicorn. An evil unicorn, evidently, judging by the way it now seemed to be viciously enjoying stamping on John.

With some difficulty, he managed to headbutt the unicorn, but not without receiving a hoof to the head in the process. Head spinning, he stumbled drunkenly towards the unicorn, grabbing its horn and holding on for dear life as it tried to shake him off. He might have done more to it, but it didn't feel quite right beating up a unicorn, even if it was evil.

The unicorn's horn suddenly snapped off in his hand. It emitted a dying-horse sort of sound (it kind of made sense) and keeled over. 'Victory is mine!' John shouted triumphantly.

His group was losing badly to the unexpectedly large mob. They would lose soon. But he felt much better and more energised when he saw that the leader had been taken down. He grinned.

He turned to face a man wielding an axe and a shield. He was outfitted in purple and blue, distinguishing him as one of the Jade Brotherhood Knights. He jumped back as the Knight swiped at him with the axe. Taking advantage of his opponent's momentary loss of balance, John grabbed the axe handle and twisted the Knight's arm outwards, at the same time trying to hook a foot around his leg. His attack was swiftly blocked by the shield, and John had to step back and let go to keep his own balance. He quickly fell to the floor as his opponent tried to chop him in half, and rolled out of the way when the axe came down and struck the floor instead.

Both men glanced at the axe and knew it would be a waste of time to get it out. The Knight still had his shield, however, and he quickly tried to bash John's head in with it. John managed to get away, but he could feel the breeze from the attack.

Suddenly he remembered that he was holding a pointy unicorn horn in his right hand. Kind of like a giant nail. Excellent. He had a weapon.

Holding the horn like a fencing sword, he rapidly jabbed at the Knight, who was making a valiant effort to block his attacks with his shield. This went on for a while, and he could see the Knight was quickly tiring. With one smooth movement, John's left hand pushed down on the top of the shield, leaving the Knight exposed, and his right hand stabbed forward.

Kneeling beside the horn-in-Knight, John looked around and suddenly decided he wanted to be disgustingly dramatic. He dipped a finger in the Knight's wound and lifted it to his mouth.

It would be his last mistake.

The last thing he saw as his vision went dark was a crab, snapping its pincers menacingly.

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(A/N: When I wrote this, I wasn't specifically writing Guild Wars fanfiction. I wanted to try writing an action scene, and I guess Guild Wars just slipped in because I'd just finished gaming at the time. Please ignore any disrepancies with the game; I assure you I know how the game wor

And yes, the unicorn is a Kirin. I guess they're in Cantha fighting a mob of Afflicted? Maybe it should have been a crane instead of a crab, then.)


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